Oh my goodness, I am stressed!
Uh oh, is that bad? Why am I always stressed? Does that mean there’s something wrong with me? Uh oh…here we go…down the stress rabbit hole!
Does this happen to you?
You get anxious or upset and hit yourself AGAIN with another wave of anxiety about being anxious?! It’s crazy…but we do it. We worry about being worried. Isn’t it great to be human 😀
To work on this, I remember the “second arrow” principle.
In Buddism, the “second arrow” principle is the idea that getting shot with one arrow is bad enough, why shoot ourselves with a second one?!
Unfortunate things happen (that’s the first arrow) and how we react is the second arrow.
When you get stressed at work, during a sports competition, or in your everyday life, recognize that emotion but see if you can make the decision to navigate towards your goal (whether that is performing better at work or sport, being calmer, or resolving a conflict). Don’t beat yourself up over what already happened. Take a breath and reorient towards the outcome you want.
The first arrow already stung, why shoot yourself with another one?
When challenges emerge, as they always do, recognize them, and then move towards what you want, don’t get hung up in the stress vortex of worrying about worrying.
So, the next time you feel stress or worry, take a breath in and say to yourself, “Hmm…there’s the first arrow. Now, what would I like to do”?
Building this habit will save you from emotional distress you don’t need to put yourself through, build your inner resilience, and give you more control over your current situation, so you can navigate the ocean of your life rather than be tossed around by the waves like a ship without a captain.
This practice is all about taking control of your reactions to your environment and deciding what’s best for you.
We use FocusCalm to build this inner muscle of resilience and calm, to combat stress, and get more done. If you want to learn more about how FocusCalm works and the brain games we’ve included, click here. When you’re ready to try FocusCalm 30 days risk-free click here.